The Holidays

This time of year is very difficult for me. It’s an emotional time of year, I don’t particularly like Christmas and the holidays much. The stress of it all, the commercialization, the crowds, the expensiveness of it all. The memories are the worse part, cold emotionless family members that I saw once a year if that.

The quiet tension that always hung in the air as we sat at the table for dinner, the family drunk howling in the background about assholes and stupid people. The disapproving looks from older generations and the arguing in the background when the adults didn’t think the children could see or hear it. I don’t particularly enjoy those memories much but I’m making new and better ones with my own family.

The warmth and tenderness of my children’s smiles on Christmas day morning makes me smile myself. It’s slowly starting to replace the older memories of grief from my own childhood. Now don’t get me wrong, my parents did their best to keep it jolly and jovial themselves, we didn’t want for anything and there are good memories too but the cold emotionless get together with other family members over shadows some of that.

I’ve done my best to get into the spirit of Christmas and the family togetherness over the holidays but this year is particularly harder than the last 11 years or so because now we’re separated from family in the city and on our own though I do look forward to the quiet solitude of just our household to share this time with this year. I hope all of you have a very safe and Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and great New Year. To those of you celebrating Yule and other traditions – may your traditions bring you great tidings and good things to come and be safe all of you during this time of year.

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