The Simple Things

I love the little simple things. For instances, sitting here with the youngest talking about pink buttons and pens. Yeah, I just had a conversation about pink buttons and pens with my 2 year old. His vocabulary is slightly more limited than mine but he understands much more than he speaks. He repeats things he hears, trying the words out and letting them roll off his tongue with a 2 year olds unique lisp and quality.

Getting mad at words that don’t roll as well of his tongue as others do he growls and tries it again and again until even he is sick of hearing his own voice saying the words then moves on, switching happily to another activity with the furvour of a hurricane full speed ahead.

My 4 year old is starting to do this as well, she developmentally delayed and has a severe speech delay. She’s PDD-NOS and every step forward is always a celebration. Especially for an autistic child, it is a celebration of the simple things. A lot of people take for granted the simple things we can do. From speaking clearly, to hearing and being able to perform simple math problems. For an autistic child even the simple things can be too much for them. It’s both a relief and a shining victory when an autistic child accomplishes simple things.

It’s hard watching her struggle while her brother half her age runs forward in leaps and bounds developmentally. She watches him talk, watches his lips move while she rocks her head back and forth and mouths nonsensical words that don’t exist to the rest of us but do only to her. When she started daycare, she started to jump forward in her abilities at an astounding rate. Her words more than doubled, though not as clear as most 4 year olds as they should be but clear enough for us to be able to start communicating better with her. It’s a glimmer of understanding of her world so simple it’s bitter sweet and very profoundly deep.

Living in an autistic’s world is not an easy journey by a long shot, but every so lovingly and with great gusto and heart we all live in her world willingly – it’s not a matter of necessity for us as much as it is a matter of a deep love for our child that we live in her world. We don’t want to change who she is, even if we did, we may never be able to change who she is. Autism is a part of her, it is part of who she is, what she is and what she will become in the future. Living with autism is not hell, it’s not hardship just a different way of living.

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