Archive for liars

Everybody Lies

Posted in personal with tags , , , , , , , on January 12, 2016 by shealm

Everybody Lies You just have to know how to catch it.

What is in a lie? I’d say it depends on what the lie is, not what’s being lied about. There are many different types of lies. The white lie, the little fib, the big and bold lie, the secretive lie, the half truth..

It doesn’t matter what kind of lie it is there are tells that people have that show you without them saying so that they are lying. What are tells you ask?

Well, there are 7 universal micro expression regardless of culture, religion, up bringing, creed, color or orientation. Male or female, child or adult – they are truly universal.

Disgust
Anger
Fear
Sadness
Happiness
Surprise
Contempt

There are also 10 universal positive or negative emotional ranges.

Amusement
Contempt
Embarrassment
Excitement
Pride
Guilt
Relief
Satisfaction
Shame
Pleasure

These micro expressions and micro emotions happen in anywhere from a 15th of a second to a 25th of a second. Learning to recognize these and catch them as they happen can open a whole new world in every aspect of your life.

When someone is feeling contempt for something or someone the inner brows will arch upward, a furrow will form between them and one corner of the mouth archs downward while the other stays stationary. Pursed lips with closed fists and a stare right through you is anger. Fear is tightened neck muscles with pursed lips and wide eyes. A TRUE smile involves the eyes and whole face while a FAKE smile only involves the mouth. Pleasure and desire…those are interesting. When we talk about a loved one we have an emotional bond with or an intimate bond with our irises dilate indicating that emotional or intimate bond as we recall from our memory those feelings for those people.

Then you have your illustrators and manipulators. Most people who tell the truth talk with their hands. Those who lie, pull their hands in, fidget with something, touch their face a lot and (as ironic as it may be) actually make forceful eye contact with the person they are lying to.

Then you have words. I CAN NOT as opposed to I CAN’T. A liar uses CAN NOT…truthful people to not need to convince you of their truth and use CAN’T. Can not denotes a lier trying to enforce the lie as truth by using subtle word placement to reiterate the lie as a truth. Sometimes even a laugh misplaced in a conversation can tell you the real truth…a small chuckle misplaced moments too late or too soon in a sentence, one where it should not be – it denotes the absurdity of the lie even to the lier. That misplaced laugh is the liar disbelieving their own lie and thinking you are actually falling for it. Smug isn’t it, not consciously on their part though.

You see, if you know what to look for you can spot any liar …no matter how good a liar… from a thousand miles away.

Emotional/Psychological Banking

Posted in personal with tags , , , , , , , , on September 8, 2015 by shealm

You ever get so tired of people? Especially the ones that are always asking you for a favour, maybe dumping their woes me on you constantly? The ones that just won’t go home and over stay their welcome perhaps?

Ever wonder why you feel so over whelmed, drained and just blah?

Well think of it this way:

Consider yourself a bank account.  For everything you do for someone else, no matter what it is, is a withdrawal.  Big or small, it will take it out of your account until there is nothing left.  To maintain these withdrawals, you need to make deposits.  A deposit is something done for you.

When you don’t have something done for you but you are always doing something for others you become emotionally and psychologically bankrupt.

Those of us who are bankrupt emotionally or psychologically don’t know how to say no. Not knowing how to say no stems from not knowing what your personal boundaries are, or knowing what they are but not enforcing them.

We teach people how to treat us. If we teach them that they can expect a yes every time they ask us for something or to do something for them – then they keep taking until we have nothing left.

It’s okay to say no. You are allowed to say no. When you learn the word no is not an evil, end all word that destroys worlds the takers of this world won’t stick around you for very long because they know that you will not tolerate being taken from by them to the point of exhaustion.

Stand up for yourself, be firm in your personal boundaries and learn when to say no thank you.